I so need to keep up with my Lj. Today is Tuesday. In diary world I would record what I did for for the past weekend and several days. In journal world I would record what I am thinking, feeling, or observed.
What I have observed:
What I have observed 1
My bosses at work are watching me, the human resources person thinks I am the library slut and leers at me constantly. I hate him. I just want to scream at him that I have only been with2 people my entire life and take that N shove it. My supervisor questioned a sale I made ad I coul see him trying to figure out what I was doing with perplexed thought face. I think I have taken this archives as far as I can Nd I M ready to move on. Please god. Find Another place for me, unless its really my path to stay there, smite my enemies.
What I have observed 2
The part of Ryan's body that connects his waist, ass, and upper thigh. It's remarkable. I went into the kitchen and he was standing there in sweat pants ( the legs bunched up to his knee and a t shirt) ahhhh swoon, the way that man is put together...I'm sorry atheist friends, there just has to be a god! My eyes traced the outline of the area in question and I just had to touch it.
Later I was talking on the phone, noticed my reflection in the mirror, and felt every bit of 37. Especially becuase I just got my entire face, basically, waxed, so it's puffy and red a little. You can see haunches that mI, afraid are genetic and becuase I am not eating right, drinking enough water, and exercising enough so I have put on10 maybe. Tats not so bad that I can't get it off and drop more. I'm battling the sadness. I can feel it trying to encroach on me. It may be time to adjust my Wellbutrin. Which is good timing becuase I think I have urinary trac infection from all the amazing sex I have been having. Ry was born to be a porn star, there's just no other way to say it. And don't hate me girls, he is as sweet as the summer solstice is long. I have been scrap booking all the things HE saved from the moment he met me. We went scrap book shopping this weekend and really loaded up on supplies. His favorite movie is Mr. Hollands Opus, which we watched twice last week, both of cried at different things both times, he writes beautiful poems, his heart is as open as a new born baby, which is a testiment to what an amazing person he is becuase his life has been anything but easy, and he doesn't care how much I cry, blubber, talk about my parents. He likes it when I talk about them, which is all the time. Just like Annie, I am always saging mother said...this or that. Dad designed this or worked on that. He shares his children with me and we have so much fun playing yard games or talking. Everything is different, he shines light into the darkest corners of this old house.
He brushes his teeth three times a day and insists I brush mine at leat once or twice a day also. My depressions are such that I won't do laundry or clean but he makes laundry that smells nice, like the nicest clean sheets, tide/downy sheets, that only one the true cool aid mommies can produce, where secret ingredient is love, can produce. I came in today and all mothers beautiful towels were folded in piles on the bed next to stacks of clean underware and folded clothes. The only thing missing were his two little cubs who are at soccer practice, which is where he is now. I better go or he will sense watery eyes and demand to know why. Ry Ry doesn't stand for any shananagins.