November 23rd, 2016


(no subject)

Ive really been fighting the depression these days.

Ryans youtube is logged in to the ps3 and I stumbled across some playlists and it made my heart hurt and ache so bad, like why isnt he here to get up and dance.

I couldnt even figure out how old mother would have been yesterday so I emailed a friend who said she would have been 76.

I didnt want to get out of bed today but I did and made some coffee. I know how much William loves it when the coffee is fresh percalating. It will draw him out of his room. We watched a good stalker movie and then Blake got home from being gone to work for a couple days so we went and had chinese and next to the ABC store and I got some stuff for the weekend.

My plan today is to let William and blake play DJ so I dont wind up naturally going down the sad road, drink Maragrittas, and hang up my clothes and clean my little corner of the world. My heart hurts so bad I have to intellectually take over and create movement. Its so hard especially when I saw the created playlists. It made me have all these thoughts and stuff.

I just saw William at the little white board. He changes the content phrase everyday usually a quote inspired by Niki or something crazy that onl he could get away with highlighting.

Im going to see what he wrote. to be continued....