March 8th, 2017


(no subject)

I want to hide in my room and not come out today but I do have a whole day planned.

Maybe I will look in my little dream book that Ryan gave. It was about being unlimited. Maybe I will hit that back room out there. I am working out with Helen at crappy 9Round. I miss my trainors at the Lacey owned one. The one trainer made me do such intense situps it sort of reminded me what it was like to have sex.


So, as defeated as i was feeling i got out of bed and decided to give some things of value away that meant something. Giving is my spiritual gift and it always strengthens my sprit to place things with the proper people. I gave my pink michael kors to william and ryans lucky dice key chain that the boys gave him when we got the Valliant to Blake who also still cries over ryan secretly at night. Ryan had not had his own car in ten years when we got the Valliant, hope im spelling it correctly, and he looked like james dean only better looking with his beautiful even features and calm bedroom eyes.

Later i found my grandmothers teacher bag, monnogrammed as people of taste and refinement used to do. Maybe i should get it refurbished as i take steps toward my new teaching path.